luvcats, thanks for the reply! I agree with sage, you are a very strong person to share your A with us and offer the advice that you can. I know I appreciate it as well as many others. YOu can offer an insight that many can not.
As for your situation, have you read the section about infidelity in DR? Really good stuff in there. Also, marriagebuilders.com has some really good stuff too. Definitily check those out. Trust is something that has to be earned. I really hope that the talk with your H goes better than you think. YOu have to think positive. At least he is willing to talk to you. That's a good thing. Remember to just listen and validate, validate,and validate.
I have to agree with you about some of the questions you answered about tpdad's sitch. I too noticed that my W changed A LOT as soon as she started talking to her ex-bf. She became very distant and withdrawn from me. My sitch is sounds similar to yours, the W and I have been together for 9 years. We started dating a couple of months after ex-bf moved and they broke up. It's like all of sudden this person comes back and there's a new interest again. I know that they talk often on the phone, and I mean a lot, like highschool kids. 60-120 min. conversations. I have access to her cell phone bill so that 's how I know. I know I'm not suppose to snoop but damn it, it';s my wife not his. MY W hasn't directly admitted that she is seeing the ex-bf yet. She knows that I know because I called his house last week when she was there and told him that I know my W is there and that I know what's going on and then I hung up.
Quote: To NoD..I understand why you are confused about your W behavior,why would she want to be with this guy who sounds like a jerk? Well it is easy to fall into past relationships..especially if there was not closure the first time..and also if this guy is calling her, sucking her into his life.Your W must have some unhappiness and is hoping this guy can fill it.It is a vicious, no-win cycle. There must still be some attraction..Good Luck.
It's obvisous that this guy is sucking her into his life because she is a completely different person. Everyone that knows her has acknowledged this, esp. me. I never knew that he was such an influence on her. Did you experience this too? How long did you and your ex-bf date? How long did your A last? Who ended things?
I'm sorry to pry about this stuff, but your the first person that I know that has had A with an ex-bf and I'm just really looking for as much insight as possible.
