New Year, New Goals, New me!

[mishka422]

Awww Kat, I'm sorry you caught your baby's cold. She likes to share doesn't she?

We are abysmal at discussing things. He sits and agrees with me, I do all the talking, he gives no input and then it gets to the point where he walks out without any discussion at all. The end. FOO stuff. Big mess. I HATE confrontation. ALL CAPS! I nearly throw up if there is a disagreement of any kind. No idea where that comes from. My parents were the epitome of a happy marriage as were my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles. The models I learned from are nothing like I am. It's crazy. All of this definitely was a root cause of our problems. He never once shared his feelings about anything.

You aren't wrong kat, not at all. I walk on eggshells in constant fear that he's going to leave. Logically, I know he has not options of places to go. I know there is no one else right now but that doesn't mean there might not be sometime. I trust him....to a point. I don't think I will every fully trust him again mainly because I don't want to be proven a fool yet again. Seriously, I don't believe I would ever trust any man again, not just him. No, I don't believe all men are cheaters. I just no longer trust my own intuition.

I have to sit him down and talk to him, there just is never a good time. Yes, I'm scared out of mind about it. Rocking the boat is scary. I keep hearing all these messages from various places about life being too short and you only regret the things you didn't do, etc., etc.. I don't believe in signs but if I did, these might be them.