You make a good point. If she is that disrespectful and bold as talk to OM in your presence, there is not a lot you can do without physically trying to end the call. When I use the term "call her out", I mean you tell her it is not okay. But if she continues, then you have to remove yourself. Which is exactly what you did. But call her hand on it, first, and then walk away. If you walk out without first saying something, it gives the wrong message. And if you try to physically stop the call, it could lead to worse things. If you try to intimidate her or threaten, it turns into a battle of wills. It sounds to me as if she's almost daring you to do anything. It is not worth her calling the police and claiming you were trying to get violent. That's not the way to handle it.
If I were the LBH in this type of stitch, and she did this behavior out of spite....then I would proceed with separating the finances and looking for another place to live. There is no reason for you to not leave or subject yourself to that treatment. Your actions, or lack of action, is a message to her. You don't have to file for D, but you don't have to put up with living under the same roof with her, either.
I am not so good with giving a person word for word to say. However, if you call hand on her disrespect, I would not mention how hurtful she is to you. Just tell her she is disrespectful and you won't tolerate it. But once you say it, then you have to be prepared to back it up by showing her (through your action) the results of her disrespect.
Once a woman truly looses respect, it is very difficult to turn things around.....but not totally impossible. You may have to do make some decisions that are not pleasant. Either that....or live with however she wants to treat you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
