Hi Luke Could be part of the grieving but more than just my marriage. I LOVE living in Franconia.. so I am grieving the move to the Ruhr.. ugly, nasty area. Losing my dog..my garden.. no more white tulips for me.. or cherries, apples, plums, those funny flat peaches I started to grow here..roses.. lilac.. Lots of things really.. Gratitude. I don't have to live in Gelsenkirchen, best 10 time ever for me,its spargel season, running friends thought to invite me for dinner, Luke sounds good and happy.. I am grateful for that..
He moved there and I was organised to move there before he decided to go fremd. No job here, house has to be sold.no way I can I make the repayments or maintain it.. I do have a job there.. sort of simple reasoning
be grateful you did not take the Gelsenkirchen job.. highest unemployment rate in Germany I believe..Ugly town..
Grateful today
The Wiese is so beautiful. and it is all weeds.
My dog survived a leap through the window and out of a moving car!!!! He saw a neighbour.
The last one ( sad this ) My H called this morning because he missed my call last night.. but I am grateful... And drums .. really.. I have a student who drums ALL the time..pens, pencils, back of the chair.. he is pretty good but AHHH crazy making Guess this isn't standard DB thread.. oh well
One of the weirdest things my WAH does is lie about things that he does not need to.. He said his business trip was for 1 day then it was 2 said he would not be back until midnight tonight..not true.
I am in town to organise my apartment and run a race. I told him that , said we could meet if he wants or not.. up to him. The last time we met here he said he felt pressured..so I thougnt to avoid that.
Why lie ? and so badly.. He has known about this weekend for 6 months.. said we need to talk.. his words then says.. maybe I will be out of town.. I almost said "I dont really care"..so I am doing my thing..and wondering.. maybe he was always a liar. He sends short texts at times..but I am not feeling like they are anything to go build on.. It is just odd.. he could just tell the truth or give a straight answer. ?.he says not zure or don't know or we'll see.. inzteac ov no.. No is better for me but he seems to be afraid to do that,, Looks lime a bad guy maybe.. Who knows... Gratitude Did not die on autobahn hVe been lent a great book by the Dali Lama..
Yeah, the Autobahn is not exactly a quiet country road ...
I really liked that you did not care - that is a good sign of detaching, keep on pursuing that...
If you can get to the point of not caring, or perhaps only doing so for his sake, then you are stronger, and that is good. He, believe it or not, does care (short SMS as evidence) I think, but perhaps not yet for the right, good, motives.
If you then can say to yourself what/how you want to be and do it - GAL - and get yourself back, you are on a good, healing path.
The company group I work with hiked SoCal's second highest mountain yesterday - good, but tiring, fun. Will you have a group of people to connect with, perhaps via your new job, in GK? Can you start building connections early?
Gratitude: respectful acknowledgement by my boss.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
So Gelsenkirchen was better than I expected.. Race was great.. new best time..
I think you are right with the detaching..it helps me a bit.. though I have a way to go.. Apparently the Ruhr is experiencing a lauf boom.. so many running clubs..that is option number 1. Hiking .. in my mind a Bayern thing. Maybe I will find someone to come with.. One thing that is interesting, for want of a better word, his need for speed for a divorce.. he thinks things will be organised then..and he will feel less pressure.. No discussion permitted I don't want to negotiate but feel like at least I should be able to discuss my view.. he said NO..he has decided. Keep looking at depression sites.. he has way too many symptoms to not be depressed..
There always seems to be a tension when we telephone. I said maybe we should not call.. he said why not... Gratitude...a friend said how much progress had made in running... praise is a great thing isn't it.? Glad your boss is noticing you..
the last part of your tag name reminds me of one of my favorite words (aleatory), and I think might be lucky.
I am glad to hear that GK was better than you thought - so the glass could be half full (or 3/4) and there could be a good future there, especially if you make it so. With that many runners around, you should be able to find some possible friends, and being a non-German may make you more interesting to people (it did when I worked in Germany).
I think your H just wants to stop his hurt and uncertainty by 'getting this thing done quickly'. I wouldn't bug him (this would be pursuing), but you of course have a right to state your POV (though this can pressure the other party and so drive them away). It is better, but harder, to not state your case, I think. You have read DB or DR, nicht wahr?
Congrats on your race - always nice to reach a PR. How long was it? There is nice biking up north - I've always wanted to do the Weser bike route.
Keep it light when you talk with h, and it is better if he initiates the contact, not you. This occasionally stinks, but it also forces you to look elsewhere and outward, which is good.
Gratitude: jacaranda trees.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
