4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks everyone. Can I tell you guys something? I actually secretly feel popular when I come here (even though this was not a group I really wanted to join). Why? Whenever I look at the views on my thread I think " these great peeps just think I'm prattling on and on and on!" I'm kidding. I love the support here and if anything that has happened to me makes someone feel not as alone or helps someone, then I'm pleased I could do so. Somehow, I think your story , kml, has started speaking to me. I'm feeling kind of feisty today.

A year ago today, I got a call that my dad was move to ICU and should only be there a few hours after a minor procedure. I had a bad feeling and hopped in my car and drove 4 hours to see him. When I saw him, I immediately knew he wouldn't make it. He was intubated and in restraints. His face lit up when he saw me. My dad was my biggest cheerleader and he died about 16 hours later. While I miss him, I'm relieved he doesn't see this situation. He always said I had such a good head on my shoulders and he never worried about me. I hope (minus a few slip ups) that the way I'm conducting myself would make him pleased. I think I'm pretty gosh darned detached. Still have a ways to go.

I welcome any thoughts on what I'm about to say. I've never mentioned OW to h. Never asked about OW. I knew h could not be alone and originally I was a little surprised (why I'm not sure) that he got involved so quickly. Looking back, I should not have been surprised in the least. Is it strange or bad that I don't give her much thought? My IC likes to talk about this topic and she (OW) just doesn't evoke much of a feeling from me. Very little real estate in my brain. Is that crazy?

Going to dinner with a friend tonight and finalizing my trust and will (shame on me for waiting) this afternoon. It's almost the weekend !