I'm so shocked and heartbroken , this can't be rea

[rsl1034]

Mach1 actually it was the "yeah ,don't do that again" that came off as a little Jerkish ,like he was just trying to get a rise out of me. He could have said something like " well that is something you shouldn't have done" or that's a bad move here's why... so yeah it was more the way he said it.
I read your first response to me everyday it's really good ,along with Sandi2's rules. I'm not perfect at following but I am trying.
I am well aware of my shortcomings and am making steps to correct them. The whole thing is just incomprehensible to me. I stayed home from work the day I presented my evidence of A. She was surprised and happy that I was home ,loves hand holding and kisses , up until I asked her about it. Since then it's like I'm the one who did a bad thing ,like someone said it's like an alien inhabits my wife's body.
The reasons she gave me as to why are that I took out a loan she didn't know about to pay off a purchase that I tried to keep hidden because it was dumb and I knew it.Also because we didn't do a big vacation last year. That is not a rational reason to dump 30 years and 3 people's lives down the toilet.
So why , if she had this plan...says there is/ was no plan, this act that just all of a sudden flipped the moment I told her I knew.
My wife the person I love and married who said she loved me 5 minutes before I asked her if we could talk just changed right there before me and those are the only reasons she could give me.
I'm not dumb and I have hurt her in the past but I honestly thought the last few years were the best. I had to find out what was really going on and it seemed like my last best chance.