Now that you are aware that you might be dealing with a BPD, you can relax and know that she is sick right now, absolutely nothing you can do about it.
More than likely, the calmer you get, the angrier she will get. It's repetition at this point. Eventually she will see if she wants a reaction from you, she will have to change her approach to a calmer one.
Think of her as a 9 year old stomping her feet in the grocery store because she wants a toy. Are you going to reward that behavior with a response (buying her the toy)? Or let her realize she will gain NOTHING from acting like that?
