3 Months In and Feeling...More Aware

[Upwards]

I am SO thankful for this separation now, no word of a lie I really am because it has allowed me to find who I am again and its forced me to face up to a lot things that i've been running away from for many years. Its given me the strength and courage to face my deepest fears and its given me the confidence to be who I want to be without worrying about what other people think.

Not so long ago I was completely broken, I didnt know who I was or what I wanted from life and my only focus was somehow saving my marriage... over time I began to realise what I needed to do but I was too afraid to do it - then something clicked, what was the point in saving my marriage before fixing the problems on my side of the relationship, we would just end up back in the same position sometime in the future. It was at that point that I realised the real importance of working on myself and the foundations of what DB is all about, I changed my attitude and have flowered ever since.

I'm not in a place where if my marriage doesnt work out i'm ok with it (<< never thought I'd say that!) because I would rather me & my H find happiness apart than be unhappy together - I'm very sad & have hope that we can work things out however my life is no longer balancing on that decision and my future isnt relying on him coming back at some point.

I've let go, truly let go and a lot of peace has come with that - I'm telling you this because I was right where you are not that long ago, you can do this & I promise you there are better times ahead.