I know what that anger feels like, and it's totally understandable why you feel it. Your entire life is being uprooted around you, and the one person in the world that you would expect to be by your side THROUGH it is the very one CAUSING it.
Why doesn't your wife want to work on your M? Because she's in love with the OM and not you. That's it in a nutshell. She's going to have to either make an intellectual choice outside of emotion and decide to return and work on the M (which she's not planning on doing right now), or she's going to have to get through the withdrawel from the "breakup" with the OM. If the OM strings her along (like it sounds like he's doing) then that could last indefinitely....
Right now, your doing the right things. Your wife is going to behave like an addict right now. Addicts lie, cheat and steal to keep their habit going. That's why she seems like such a different person to you. Understanding that may help you cope.
