Still don't have much time but wanted to respond to one point (which is valid) cat made. You spoke about how you don't let the fact that you don't share your S's accomplishments with your H affect how you feel about them. I understand this and agree it is my choice how I see and feel about this kind of thing and I'm sure, as time goes on and I get on with my life I will do the same. Right now, still living with my W, still unsure how this is going to play, still having to deal with how her thoughts and feelings and moods change daily, it is hard to do. Since I still don't know if or when my W will leave or what kind of relationship I will have with her or her with my kids, my emotions are still somewhat raw.
At times my W can be nice, seem to care about me and the kids and what is best for them. At times she is awful yelling and screaming at me or them for not immediately understanding what she is saying or what she wants. Never knowing which W will show up at any given time we all walk on egg shells not knowing what will set her off at any given moment.
You are very right about the way I need to become. The way I need to react or not react to the things he says or does. Not let her effect who I am. Right now that is hard. I have no one in my life that I can confide in or really share these things with except my family and D's. She was this person to me for the last 25 years and until I know that my M is definitely over, I don't have someone like this and that can be hard at certain times.
Thanks for showing me that in time, I will be able to let this go and enjoy the milestones and happy events in my and my D's lives. It will take time and work for me to get there but I will in time.
