buz 29: NO CONTROL ~ respond vs. reacting.. dates?

[makingmagic]

NO.. I am pushing forward on getting our finances settled. I just don't know who to finalize it with.... do I see a business lawyer or family lawyer? Since this is a mutual agreement, do I need to bother with independent lawyers or can we just take it to one lawyer to be signed?

Yes...he is very selfish and admits it. So, now I can see him for who he is. He is not wanting to share a business opportunity with me... he wants it for himself. He was also trying to save me from putting all my money into a possible money pit. He was also trying to save our business from having to re-locate. The property has issues that may restrict our operation. Throughout these last few days, I saw him to be pushy, bully, railroad and keep me out of the loop...so he could move forward. This bugs me, but its not a deal breaker for me, as I do see 3 sides to what he was doing. Not sure which side of the scale was heavier for him... Probably first, saving our business from having to relocate. Then, personal gain. Then, protect me.

Regardless, now what happens to our "dates"? I was really twisting yesterday so asked him .... "please be honest with me, how were you feeling about our time spent?" He replied "I was really enjoying them, and would like to again.. just not now" ........... not fully understanding the "not now" comment.... how can you say that to someone? I know its been a hectic/consuming couple of weeks, battling over this business purchase issue (he saw me as someone preventing him from getting what he wants, asking questions, prob appearing as a bug), etc. But, "not now"? I replied "yea, I need to review this stuff and think about things too" ...... I don't think he even bothered to care what I said.

He did text me last night while at my meeting.... Have a nice evening.

Had my women's meeting last night (held at my place).... part of our program was to review why we joined the group. Who we were and what shifted and when, etc. Mine was easy.... I was a blubbering, desperate, pathetic MESS!! Thank god I am not HER anymore... I have come away & am now seeking self value. The ladies all spoke, and one woman reminded me about raising the bar and how we allow and push the bar of how low and what we are willing & able to accept. <<< why do I keep doing this?

Again... I need to see myself in a higher position. Raise the bar. I deserve better, than his selfish "I dunno", "not now" crap!!!

So... today, I pick myself up. Put on my gorgeous and believe in the person who others see me as!! Others, think I am crazy & tell me to look in the mirror. <<< going to put on my confidence & not be afraid of her! Self preservation.