Left Behind Newlywed

[Pluto]

I don't currently have a separate account, she does though. I need to get that fixed - trying to get her to go to the bank this week to get her access removed. We separated the bills and each pay our 'designated' bills if that makes sense.

She's also spending somewhat recklessly - I know for a fact she's behind on at least one credit card bill by a couple months.

I'm working on standing up to her and being more firm, though I've also slid towards the 'act like a jerk' at times.

How do I firmly call her on talking to OM in front of me without the 'act like a jerk' part? She has no desire to work on the M, of course - and doesn't care about my feelings or needs at this time - which I understand as part of the script.