If she has stopped depositing any of her money into the joint account, you need to be immediately on guard. She is either spending recklessly or saving her money in a private account. Do you have a separate account other than the joint? Do each of you pay the same bills each month or one person writes checks for all the bills? (Hope that made sense.)
She is being very blatant with her A, so that means she has lost respect, as well as other feelings toward you. But before she can feel sexual love (attraction) for you, she first has to respect you as a man.
There are times when a H needs to be lovingly tender with his W. However, this is NOT that time. Whenever you have a wayward W in an A, it more important to show her your inner strength and firmness. Never use any means of violence with your W, no matter how upset you get. Removing yourself from the situation is better than succumbing to anything physical.
If you can stay in control of your emotions, it is better to stand tall and speak with a firm voice. That does not mean you have to yell, it just means to speak with sound of leadership and authority (if need be). Women respect men who take charge, as long as they don't act like a jerk.
Some men get into a really bad habit of being passive toward the W. Men think see it as avoiding conflict at the time, but eventually passivity takes over. Women hate it. It causes a loss of respect b/c women (by nature) want their man to be decisive and lead. Not be a bully or treat her in a condescending way, but as one who knows his own mind and can make good decisions for his family.
A man needs to call out his W whenever she is talking to him disrespectfully, or treating him like a doormat. He doesn't go pout about it, but calls her hand on it and tells her not to do it. The fact she was talking to her affair partner right in front of you tells me a lot. You have your job cut out for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
