Val, I'm Not sure why this triggered so much for you either, b/c I thought you did want "some" type of r with her as long as you felt safe, and she did, too...
Sadly 25, You are mistaken. I did want a safe r with her. She just wanted to be able to reach out when and how she wanted without any expectation from me. She didn't want to work on rebuilding trust nor did she really want a friendship. In her eyes - I was kind of the equivalent to a member from a 12 step program. We can have the conversation, but not necessarily the connection.
My frustration was that I was clear about my boundary and she didn't respect it. But that's neither here or there... I felt what I needed to feel and moved on. I no longer get on the hamster wheel but I'm allowed to be upset about it. Her having contact with me in any way is a big deal for me... it's just what it is.
Originally Posted By: needgrace
val, are you still dating? i remember that contact from X was a bit jarring for me after I started dating someone else... all sorts of stuff came up for me. could that be part of it??
Yes I am still dating and although I'm aware that things are coming up for me... I'm not sure how the two are connected.
That part has been interesting. I should probably post more about it than I do, however I am just ready to live and not think so much.
Not sure if that's wise - but it sure is relaxing.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
