How do you do THIS part...

[adinva]

There's such a vast difference between welcoming someone into your home with open arms and calling them trash that belongs at the end of the driveway with the other trash...surely you don't need me to tell you that.

Publishing falsehoods on FB is not actually stabbing you in the back. Taking a knife and stabbing you in the back is stabbing you in the back.

Your perceptions, and your tendency to exaggerate and stir yourself up, and feel justified in blowing up like someone who has no control over himself...those are holding you back.

Think about the serenity prayer. Apply class and dignity to your dealings. Let go of things that aren't worth your time.

What would I do? I would ignore facebook and any idiocy that people post there about me and my family. If what he is posting is 100% wrong and is affecting my family's camping business in a material way that is provable, I would be very calm and engage a lawyer to write him a cease and desist letter that is very specific about the law he is breaking.

In most cases, anyone with a brain is going to know that what he is posting is the idiotic rantings of a love triangle, embarassing to witness and annoying to others, not believable. Most people assume there's more to the story...unless you demonstrate with your behavior that you are in fact volatile and childish.

If he's going to be picking up your child, and it's a long driveway, for your child's sake be a big enough person to let him up to the door. That's a far cry from welcoming him into your house. If you act like a reasonable person, you may get an opportunity to express your request that he stop posting about you...and he might listen.

I always look for where my bread is buttered. If someone is saying bad stuff behind my back, I get the most value from looking like such a better person that most people assume the other guy is an idiot...if I need to do something about it I do it in such a measured and logical way that I don't in fact prove the idiot right in that I'm crazy and unglued. The best revenge is living well and getting to the point where you just really don't care what those little people do. You're busy being awesome.

Your marriage is water under the bridge. Your best bet is to get used to reality and learn to manage your emotions and behavior. That doesn't mean stuff it and build resentment. It means grieve it, rant and rail until that's out of your system, and improve yourself until you can see that the past hurts were a crucible that you wouldn't even regret because it got you to a better place in your life.