Fasten your seatbelts

[Duds3]

My EX and I were trying to have a baby and had looked at 4 houses to buy 25 days before she told me she filled for D. My EX told me when she came back after leaving on Jan 5. she couldn't wait for things to settle back down so we could have a baby because there was nothing more she wanted then to be a mom. She apologized for being a bad wife and not being more supportive of my job. I could go on and on with things that were said and done by her that would only confuse you and me even more. I was not myself for two months of our marriage due to my new job and the stress of being in a new career. That led me to not being myself and providing for her what always made us great. I have accepted responsibility for my part, it doesn't make things easier, but it is what it is. As I have been told we may never know the reasons behind their actions.

Your fiancé is struggling with her direction it seems to me. I agree it is hard to flip the switch like that, but there is nothing you can do about it. She has to take her own journey, which s&%! for the LBS. My EX recently began snapchatting with my sister. Who knows why? My IC told me it seems like my EX doesn't understand what she has done. She isn't fully aware of what is happening. That may be the case, but only the WAW knows. My EX told me she never felt such a desire to be by herself, hated the concept of marriage, was only going to worry about herself, family and close friends but hopes we get to the point where we can date again. She has rewrote the history of our relationship, which if you have read on the boards, is typical WAW script. Its a crazy time in their lives too, which I know is not something we want to hear but its the case.

I still have hope for my EX and I but I also know I have changed as a person and for the better. I have taken the saying, "be the spouse only a fool would leave" to heart.

When your with your friends practice listening better and validating what they say. before reacting to a sitch see the sitch from the other side. One of my friends told me recently, "if your XW comes back or the next time you enter into a R you will have them so messed up with the new skills you have learned and your old skills you have improved they wont know what to do or think." Personal growth should be a daily goal of all of ours.

Try and take a different road to work. Blast some music and clean the house or areas that she used. It will be hard to do no question but if you make it one minute, then an hour and then a day it may help. I fight urges all the time, trust me, some days I win and some days I lose. Take the good with the bad and keep fighting the good fight.