Back to basics

[LongRoad06]

As far as that goes: He did pay me back at the end of the night, and said "thank you." Had I not offered, he would have accused me of doing things out of spite. That's his FAVORITE line - that I do things to him out of spite. Although I have done some spiteful things in the past, just because I go against him does NOT mean I'm doing something out of spite.

He has cash, but has no access to it as his debit card has not come in for that account. I guess that is also not my problem.

As far as the suicide things...I do not think he would ever do it. He is too narcissistic for that (ie: "What would everyone think of what I had done? I can't have them thinking of me in a bad way.") I will keep that in mind if he does mention it again, though.

The more I read about MLC, the more I think this is replay...but I don't know. I'm going to copy and paste from this thread and talk to my DB Coach about it:

MLC resource

#1: MLC'ERS WILL OFTEN VIEW THEIR LBS AND THEMSELVES AS ONE PERSON

Yep, I'm the source of his unhappiness

Depression sign #2: MLC'ERS ARE UNABLE TO SUSTAIN AND MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS AS WELL AS RESOLVE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS.

His longest relationship before me was a grand total of three months long. He never could keep anyone around, or broke up with them because they "weren't right for him."

#3: MLC'S HAVE DEPENDENT PERSONALITIES.

My biggest complaint was that I was a mother to two children, not just one.

#4: ML'ERS ARE UNABLE TO SHOW EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

He thinks I am the cause of all his problems in life. He has "fixed" any issues he had - which is far from the case

#5: ML'ERS ARE EXTREME ATTENTION SEEKERS

He always sought out attention from me and always had this NEED for people to like him. He accused me of being the one needing and soliciting attention

#6: ML'ERS ARE SELF-CENTERED

Pretty obvious that right now, they don't care about anyone else other than themselves

#7: ML'ER'S ARE UNABLE TO TRUST

Although he SAYS he trusts me, he does the "I hate you don't leave me" song and dance all the time. If he's going to leave, he wants to be the one to leave. Me suggesting we take a break to cool off and reapproach things is me leaving him, and therefore not trusting me.

#8: ML'ERS ARE UNABLE TO HANDLE STRESS

When his job is going well, it's going well. When it's not, he comes home in moods.

#9: ML'ERS REWRITE HISTORY

I cannot count how many times he's told me I am recalling things incorrectly.

#10: MOST ML'ERS HAVE AFFAIRS

EA's were prevalent in the beginning. I honestly do not think he has a need for one right now. I have access to phone records, and that's a downfall of mine.

#11: ML'ERS ARE CONTROL FREAKS

DING. FREAKING. DONG. He is also BPD, which is the king of control freaks. He cannot stand to lose control over me or his life

#12: ML'ERS HAVE EXTREME ANGER/RAGING/SPEWING

He does this when he loses control. See above as well. A big component of BPD

#13: ML'ERS ARE INDIFFERENT

He could care less about all of this. he is an extremely selfish individual, and doesn't care what this is doing to his family, my family or my daughter and I. All his concerns are with "his happiness."

#14: ML'ERS CAN BE NARCISSISTIC

Oh, yeah. He tells me all the time that he's right "a lot of the time" and that "makes you jealous." LOL WHAT?

#15: ML'ERS MAKE POOR DECISIONS

Money? Yes. Life? Yep. Job? Yes.

#16: ML'ERS ARE POOR MONEY MANAGERS

Was in a large amount of debt from prior to marriage. Is now behind on bills as I stopped paying them.

#17: MOST ML'ERS ARE ABUSIVE

Verbally and emotionally big time.

I'll post more later.