4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

Little update...

So h came in this am and plopped on the couch and went to sleep while holding s4. I realized I didn't feel disgusted or repulsed when I saw him. I felt rather I different.

H's brother sent me a text on MD wishing me a happy Mother's Day. H did not. I'm not sure if I expected him to-perhaps I did. Darn those expectations. Why? Not sure. Maybe because I'm raising his kids? No expectations.

H told older 2 kids I ruined his life. As I've shared before, my IC and kids's therapist view this differently. When h reiterated that he sleeps thru meeting he at work or doesn't go to older kids last week, my IC said I should not have told the kids you don't do that. She said I undermined h and made him look bad. The kids therapist says h looks bad on his own. I believe delivery is important, and I did tell kids that it's not a good idea to skip meetings or sleep through meetings at work. (They know this-h has always done this). I didn't say anything bad about h, just that it's not a good idea to do that in the workplace. I read everything and some experts always present your spouse in a very positive light. I'm not sure about that when the actions cannot be presented " positively." I feel neutral, saying nothing bad and being available to answer questions is my best bet.

You know, I'm still very early in this process. I'm not a place where I can say this is a blessing-actually it s$&ks! However, I am learning a great deal, including more about myself. Like I've stated before, I didn't know relationships really ended "this way." I thought things were discussed and well, now I know. I am grateful for that.

Fence is finished and waiting for pool peeps to come open pool. I have become acquainted with lawn maintenance folks and handymen. I was used to h doing half jobs and I happy to get things completed. Saves me the work, cost effective, and everything is safe and looks good.