I am glad you are thinking about it at least, Thornton.
I *will* say - and this may have NO bearing on your relationship at all - that my H was working two jobs, from 7 a.m. until 4-5 p.m. and then from 6 p.m.-midnight five nights a week ... and then all day Saturday. And he STILL made time for an A.
I have ZERO experience with addictions, except in the sense that affairs are addictions. You're clearly doing a lot of research on what's specific to your W and your relationship - good for you!
I do not want to add more to your plate, or more for you to ponder. The last thing I'd want to do is create unnecessary anguish for you. The only reason I'm asking about a potential A is because to me - and several others who have taken care of me here - an A is a game-changer in approaches to busting a divorce.
If there's no A, then you keep on keepin' on with your GAL and 180s. That's the best thing you can do *regardless*! If you eventually find out there *is* an OM, keep posting here in Newcomers or head over to Infidelity. Wisdom is prevalent here, and loads of people are here to offer support and advice. You're in great hands, and I'll keep checking in here. Hang in there!
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014