She left - 4

[gogofo]

I am trying by 180ing my old self. I am taking lessons ans skills learned from the DR, the forum, and other sources and applying them to myself.
I am becoming a better listener.
I am more supportive of her and what she wants, not letting my job and life and opinions dictate everything.
I am planning things for her and I and also the family.
I am happier, and work on my "Happiness Advantage" techniques daily.
I am paying attention to my W and studying her again.

I am trying to openly communicate my feelings and emotions to her which I did Sunday evening. That morning was rough because of our youngest and I described to her how the situation made me feel. It was similar to past situations that created issues for us. I told her how I felt guilty and helpless and as if there was no correct action for me during the situation. She listened and understood and did not know some of the emotions behind my actions. She then opened up and shared back.

I thanked her for talking with me because I know how difficult it was for me to be vulnerable in front of her and express fears and inadequacies to her.

I am trying to lead by example and do things in our relationship that I think will improve it, like initiating the emotional sharing above. I would have been to embarrassed to do this previously in our relationship so I decided to do it last night.

I am just trying to improve myself and let it flow back into the relationship.

She has even commented a couple of times "who are you?" in a complimentary fashion. I am not the person she made me out to be and walled off during our relationship.