And nowadays, I find myself wondering why I went through all that trouble when my Ex didn't bother doing the same for me - and ran off on an affair with someone he's known for a few weeks and who certainly isn't as 'strong' a competitor as my friend was. I find myself wondering why I chose to stay with someone who wasn't as well matched with me as my friend was, or as thoughtful, or as mature and responsible. I loved him, and I thought he was honest, mature and respectful... which he's just shown me he isn't.
Ahh, here's the crux of the matter, the problem YOU need to solve - why DID you settle?
You mentioned being from a fatherless family. In my case, my father died abruptly when I was 14. He had been a loving father, not distant, but that sudden unintentional "abandonment" left me with what I now see as abandonment issues. I developed a pattern of dating unavailable or difficult men, as if succeeding in wooing them would be a way of healing or succeeding over that previous abandonment (all unconscious, of course).
That led to me being in a long marriage with a man that I was always trying to win over or live up to his expectations.
