I'm afraid I don't have much advice, since I'm in a similar situation at the moment (just posted in the forum, too). I think we don't really have much more to do apart from wait and see how they emerge from their crisis. Which is really unnerving - I just want to DO something, I want answers, NOW.
But as someone said, 'you didn't break her, so you can't fix her'...
Me: 26, BF: 33, R: 9yrs Bomb dropped April 17th 2014 Currently No Contact