Newbie here... I had started posting in the MLC forum, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate for my sitch. So here I am, in need of counsel...
Me and my bf (should I call him ex?) were together almost 9 years. I'm 26, he's 33. It was a long distance relationship for 5 years as I was studying abroad, we spent about half the year apart. So when we saw each other it was all new and sparkly. Then in June I finally moved back and moved in with him, which he really wanted.
Like everyone says... our relationship was great. We were best friends, laughed, played, great sex (maybe a little less now that we lived together). We have the same musical tastes, which is really rare since they are quite peculiar, we have the same sense of humor... he still tells me I'm the perfect woman for him. On paper at least!
He was pretty distant for a month or so, then dropped the bomb. All the classics: ILYBINILWY, I need time to think, I don't know who I am, etc. And then: I waited for you so long, and now I discover I can't live with you, it's terrible. What's wrong with me. Even when I lived with my parents I couldn't stand them. I'm never going to be able to live with anyone.
So, then it turns out indeed there is an OW involved. I was letting him stay in my house (where we lived together) while I was going to leave for Wales to stay with a friend to relax and focus on my work. I found the proof in the trashcan when I popped home to grab some stuff. We had an emotional phone call in the evening where:
- he tried to deny with all sorts of embarrassing excuses
- he told me he will never again find someone as good as me (I studied abroad, am working as a writer, am pretty successful while he is stuck in a rut in our small Italian town and lived with his parents till he was 31)
- he begged me to give him some time to think as he's confused and doesn't want to lose me
- then sent me distraught texts about how he never deserved me, I was always better than him in every way (something he said more than once in our relationship), he lost the most precious thing he had (me)
But the next time I heard from him, to arrange him moving out of the house, he was very cold and detached. After being best friends and speaking to each other daily for 9 years, now he's pretty happy not speaking with me. Eventually he even stopped lying about the OW - I told him I just want him to be happy and if he's happier being with this other person... and he quickly said it was only a one night thing. Which I don't really believe, because he'd been on Whatsapp all the time in the past month and hiding the phone.
If I hadn't trusted him so blindly I should have been suspicious, I guess. But to have 5 years of long distance relationship, I had to trust him blindly. His betrayal feels much worse because he did it with me right here.
Me: 26, BF: 33, R: 9yrs Bomb dropped April 17th 2014 Currently No Contact
