Personal counseling has helped tremendously already and has put my H on a good course. He's finally coming to terms with things happened long ago in his life.
I wish I could say that I feel like things are great and on track but the reality is that things between us are still complicated. I think he's finally realized what all is at stake and sometimes I feel like he's sweeping things under the rug. Also, some of his shifts in behavior are dramatic and I don't trust that they'll last. I often think of advice I've read here, that the smallest most consistent changes count most, so I'm just giving it time to see what life with him will really look like in the future.
In the meantime I've been doing heavy reading about people in his shoes and how they behave as adults. His dad was in and out of his life as a child, and it's both comforting and saddening to read other spouses detail what their marriages are like when married to people who grew up that way.
I'm at the point where I have to start accepting that some of his behaviors and reactions to life's frustrations might just be part of who he is. His cycles of being great and happy, followed by being able to just walk out on me saying I mean nothing to him and/or buying 'stuff' or seeing other woman when he's feeling hurt, are unfortunately very common for men raised by a single parent with an absentee parent.
At the moment I'm just taking life day by day and not moving too fast in any particular direction. I have set some pretty clear boundaries to protect myself and my kids, but have been enjoying time w/ my H. He set up a bunch of romantic/ awesome things for Mother's Day and has been saying many nice things to & about me which he did not do previously. I'm enjoying this 'up' time where life feels pretty good and easy.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
