Thank you lou, Upwards, labug, and 25. Helping my D cope is my number one priority right now. Upwards - I appreciate the book recommendation. I ordered it tonight, so should have it in a couple of days.
My D and I had a great day together. We went to church this morning. We came home and had lunch and then listened to music and danced around the house. We made bracelets. We met my sister and niece in the afternoon at the movie theatre and watched Rio 2. After dinner, we watched Charlotte's Web (the version with Dakota Fanning). It was a really low-key day, but the kind that we both love.
It's funny how sometimes we can hear exactly what we need to hear from the most unlikely places. There's a part in Charlotte's Web where Wilbur is fretting over whether he will win first prize at the county fair (which would save him from a trip to the smokehouse). The following exchange takes place between Wilbur and Charlotte.
Wilbur: Should I be worried?
Charlotte: Of course not. What good would that do?
How true is that? Worry doesn't do anything for us, other than create unnecessary stress. Worry is one of the things that sometimes prevents me from being present in the little moments that really matter. I will say I was very present today. I was determined to have an awesome day with my D and we did.
So, H...He took D7 to get me a card yesterday and picked one out from himself, too. The one from him said:
Nothing is better than laughing and sharing with you. Whether we're face to face, on the phone, or even just on each other's minds...It's so nice to know we're always there for each other with smiles and love to share. Happy Mother's Day.
Hope - I love you. Happy Mother's Day. -H
I didn't cry when reading the card today, which is improvement. I cried A LOT when he gave me a really sentimental card for Valentine's Day. He's made it very clear that he loves me. He just isn't "in love" and can't get back there. I didn't hear from last night. Today, he called twice when we were in the movie and then texted twice. Once to let me know he was on his way back from out of town and once to wish me a happy Mother's Day. I returned his call when we left the movie and he seemed to just want to make small talk, so I let him know the D7 and I had things to do and got off the phone. I was friendly and positive the whole time. He came to pick up his truck tonight while D7 and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie; he still has a key, so he let himself in. She got up and ran over to him, but I stayed where I was. He asked me to come give him a hug, so I did. He only stayed for a minute and then left. I followed him to the door just so that I could lock it. As I was closing it, he stopped me and then proceeded to tell me a story about an angry driver he encountered while riding his motorcycle. I agreed with him that the guy was a jerk. That is different for me. Usually, I'll ask a question like, "Well, did you cut him off?" H has said (not since BD, but a while back) that I'm never on his side. So, I was on his side. The whole time he was here, I kept a PMA and acted like nothing was bothering me at all.
Need some advice here: Tonight, D7 was talking about how much more comfortable our other couch was (the one H took). I told her that I was ordering a new couch for that room and it would be here soon. She said, "But Daddy's coming back in 4 months," which is the same thing she said last week. I asked her again why she thinks that. She reiterated that Daddy told her that. I asked her when and she said she didn't know but not that long ago. I was able to get away from the conversation with her for now, but I think she needs to know soon. I'm trying to wait because she is about to have a second round of testing for the gifted program at school. She barely missed on the first round (which occurred 2-3 weeks after H moved out), so I was able to appeal to the school for a second round due to circumstances. I'm not sure yet when that testing will be scheduled, but I don't want to create additional stress for her before that if it can be avoided. Here's my question: Do I tell H that she mentioned again that he was coming back in 4 months? I think that I can do it calmly and without emotion. However, when I told him last week about the first time she said it, he got defensive and then had to get off the phone to "process" what she said. I'm not sure that anything constructive will come from the conversation. I could be wrong, though. We were able to have a good conversation about the schedule late last week.
