Thank you AJ. I will forgive myself for today being a hard day for me. I get so upset at myself when I can't stay focused on my goals and that makes it go even harder. You are right, it doesn't matter what he thinks that I should be fine and over this. He doesn't get to decide what I feel. I don't want to be stuck in the grieving process but maybe I'm just trying to hold it back too much and I need to let myself grieve when I need to for a while. Your encouragement and insight is very helpful. It's all very confusing and his behavior is always a contradiction to what he says and then of course the lies and then it just overwhelms me. I never react in front of him or to him. I have learned that much. I leave him alone and only respond to him when necessary. He sometimes makes that hard because a lot of times if I don't respond to him he will call our d and he knows I will respond then because I don't want her going through anymore than she already is. So I will keep trying and cut myself some slack on the bad days. I'm sorry for all that you have gone through AJ and what you are still going through. And I thank you for helping me.
