Ok this has me tossing and turning this morning so i thought maybe i can journal it here and possibly get some input from my support team rather than fire it off to h at 5 am.
I stood up for my values but not forcefully enough and i want to both express myself more clearly and log documented written notice. So im going to email.
Dear h: I wanted to be more clear about my objection to the way you joked with s14 yesterday. Suggesting that his car project, which he worked very hard on and was proud of, was the right shape to go up a rectum, was inappropriately gross and questionably sexual, as well as a put-down disguised as humor. Because i would like the kids to know that i object to both put downs and sexual kinds of joking, i will ask you to stop if it happens again.
Sincerely, etc
I'll send it later. Tried for "when you do x i feel y and therefore i would like for z to happen or else i will do abc" format of boundary setting. Didnt do more in the moment other than a stern "thats gross h" because a) taken off guard, b) didnt want to create a scene, c) wasnt really clear in my head that this was unacceptable...i'm more pissed about it now than i was at the time, d) its just completely typical h. I want to show my kids they can ask for better treatment though, hopefully without harming whatever parental affection they might receive from h.
There, now thats out maybe i can sleep another hour or two.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
rather than fire it off to h at 5 am.