She moved home but still in love with OM!

[Oxford1]

Yes and no on that.

It was a small part of our marriage,,but towards the end of our previous relationship I was the boy toy...

We have moved past this. We are connecting on a more emotional level now.

I,am seeing her through a different set of lenses.

And I,really like and love what I see...

[Oxford1]

"Me: it's when we are together I relax and get tired"
"ME. Completely dumbfounded...she dragged me into,it again!"

Seriously? YOU were the one who started it with that comment. Stop blaming your W for your actions. You could have just said you were tired and left it at that. YOU were the one who said "when we are together". That's all on you. Learn to take responsibility rather than acting like the victim.

Ok,I see what you are pointing out...I have to execute not just say I will..

[Oxford1]

So things are moving along.

My wife is still communicating with her OM. The thing is she said to me since I won't let her talk with him in the house she sometimes will need to leave to talk to him in her car.

So,today I was not feeling well so she said she would go food shopping..it's been two hours, so I know she's talking to him on the phone.

I saw where Dr. w said to ignore this and scream into a pillow etc...

Is this really what I am supposed to do?

[Upwards]

She's respecting your boundary & not speaking to him whilst in the house, that's a good thing right?

Hows the detachment going? What are you doing to GAL away from your W?

[Oxford1]

She's respecting your boundary & not speaking to him whilst in the house, that's a good thing right?

Hows the detachment going? What are you doing to GAL away from your W?

It's been hard she wants to spend all this time with me...it's,easier on weekdays. I think,I am going to,start going fishing on the weekends by myself a little.

[Oxford1]

What's the opinion here on exposure?

[owl777]

If she has OM then you'd better totally cut her off and not even mention or act like you're interested in R stuff. You're wanting to play the cat and mouse game and she'll probably play and then go back to OM and do the same. This is the way it is. This isn't something everybody is telling you to do, because we're not sure. You'd better copy Sandi's list and practice reading it and acting it. Try no contact for a few days and keep it business like other DBers are trying to do and share with you. You're setting yourself up for her to think it's okay to have the OM and her family too.

[Oxford1]

She lives in the house.

If she goes to Israel in June..I am done..totally dark, no contact, kids are done too....

[Oxford1]

What's the opinion here on exposure?

[MrBond]

What kind of exposure? It doesn't do much good to tell everyone you know plus their friends about it. How would YOU feel if your W told everyone you knew, a private secret you had? Would that make you want to go back to her?