Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

Sandi2, I see it. Yeah she played me and I fell for it. We did discuss the A though. So what do I do when she asks to be held? Refuse? Tell her that until the OM is completely and finally out of her life and she's ready to reconcile, then I'll hold her?
No, I don't want a dead M or to live in limbo. She said she's working on herself. She's doing a lot of soul searching. I told her she's been rewriting our history and she looked at me astonished and said, "yes, I guess I have been." She's saying I'm doing things out of character for me, not that it's bad but she's not used to my new behaviour. So I think there's something happening between those two ears. But I agree that she needs more work. I also realize I was weak and fell for her sexuality. She did say her A was over but I guess I should demand to see proof. How do I approach that request?
I'm taking mum out to the jazz club tonight. W has to work at the RH. Tomorrow W & I have Mothers Day brunch with mum & the two kids at a restaurant.
Should I still ask her to call before she comes to our house? I guess I could tell her that I would really appreciate it if she were to text or call me before she comes by. She'll ask why. I'll just say it's just common courtesy.