So I think I m just venting here right now so I don't type, write, or text anything to her.....letting of steam I guess. Sorry to beat the horse. All of the things that I type here are things that I WANT to say to her, but know I shouldn't....and won't.
So.
I remember distinctly telling her during my begging and pleading phase that this was going to have an awful impact on our lives and the lives of our families forever if it went through. Again...I said more than once that EVERYONE loses. Everyone. For whatever reason, it appeared as if she could only see and feel whatever she was experiencing in the moment without consideration to the future and what the long-term impact would be.
NOW she says "I am not going to live the coming years with him seeing my family less than one week a year". That seems like the kind of thing that should have been thought through before filing. I think she got so revved up on her emotions that nothing else mattered. And, well, it seems she still may be in that same place.
I wonder if she thinks that I love every element of the D agreement? I can't TELL you how many things that I hate from it that I just have to take a deep swallow on and live with....things that are DIRECT benefits to her.
I'll say it again, this looks like perhaps the first time in this debacle that she is not in control and can't get what she wants. She wanted to file, I didn't want her to....she filed. She wanted to see the D through, I didn't want her to....she saw it through. She wanted majority custody...I wanted 50/50....she got majority.....she wanted alimony....she got it.....she wanted extra days from me when she wanted them....she got them. She wanted him to go to a pre-k 1 mile from her place....I didn't want him to....now he goes there, I caved. All of that is on top of the extras I have done along the way. Now she can't get exactly what she wants and is crying foul. WE GOT THE DIVORCE YOU WANTED!! WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT!?
I have heard it said (maybe in DR) that with divorce you are not SOLVING problems. Rather, you are trading what may be short term problems for PERMANENT ones. I think that is coming home to roost.
On her way out the door after BD she exclaimed, "I WANT BETTER FOR S!!!!". I ask....is this better? Is HE happier now? Is she??
Again....just posting the venom to get it out of my system.
