afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Is it still possible to R after W has filed D papers?

Or do I just have to go with flow be as amicable as possible and allow the D to proceed and hope maybe someday W decides she may have made a mistake?

I cant get it out of my head that we haven't done everything possible to save our M bonds and create a new M without having to D first.

I know W says she has tried till she is blue in the face. She has to say that to justify her position. The way she tells me she has tried is suspect though, in the fact, that the people she said she talked to about her unhappiness have no idea why she is saying this, because they haven't talked to her. I know it really doesn't matter because her feelings are her feelings and I can't control that.


Just very frustrating that the woman I knew was never a quitter and has now resigned herself to believe or is being told to believe that once you make up your mind that your M is over there is no turning back, people don't change, once you lose your love somebody it can never be regained, etc...

W said if she wasn't sure about D she wouldn't have wasted 2500.00 on a lawyer. I told her it is just money no big deal and if she is so sure about D why wait 10 months and not file right after the S. She didn't answer.

I asked if she waited till she thought the grass was greener to file she no while looking away. I said then why not at least try talking to a coach I am using. She said maybe she would consider it but she could also just say nothing when asked questions I said that is correct and I understand that.

I guess a question I have is how can I ask her to talk to a DB coach in a way that is not pressuring?

I know counseling isn't always the best option but, I honestly feel that if she feels no pressure from my DB coach which I think is possible based on my previous solo sessions with my coach. My W may actually open up somewhat to get some things off her chest. I know this doesn't assure R but at least it is start to a process that may allow it in the future.

Thoughts appreciated!