All par for the course, daring. H and you both will vacillate back and forth, up and down. The trick for you is to not ride on his roller coaster. Continue to work on yourself, GAL, PMA, and allow him to do the same. Soon you will find yourself holding (relatively) steady while H bounces in search of The Big Answers.

I truly believe that when we DB properly, we can sometimes lead the way for them. And I'd say you definitely have that opportunity because...

H realizes the issues are mostly him, not you. This is a huge first step. Another positive for you guys. Doesn't mean it won't still take some time... better pack a lunch!

Also, show him you're not expecting any quick resolutions here. That you're comfortable enough to put the M on hold for a bit. This will take the pressure off him to find closure "for you".

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl