Thanks, SF. I appreciate it and I am doing my best.
The funny part of today is that I had to go out of my way to son's pre-school this morning to drop off the pottery pieces he made her for Mother's Day so he can give them to her on time. Yeah, it felt weird given everything twirling in the background right now - but I think it was the right thing to do. And, really, in the thick of an argument or tense time, nothing really throws your antagonizer off like random kindness. Today, I hope it sends the message "You go ahead and be you, I am going to continue to be the best man I can be and I will let that show through S, too." Blame me, hate me, take me to court....I won't yell, I won't scream, I won't lecture, I won't editorialize in emails and texts - I will stay fact-based and calm. Even if I am working super hard to do it......cause I am.
How in the world do I continue to suppress the urge to just blurt out "this is what you wanted!". I feel she fails to recognize that we wouldn't be in this space otherwise. Like I've said....it seems she can't (or refuses to) connect the dots on actions and consequence.
She said in her email "this is an issue that will not go away for me". Well no sh*t....there are a LOT of issues that hurt in this process that will not go away.
