Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I'm not you, and I won't assume your feelings....
Maybe take a step back, and understand where that comment came from before you go off on these Women, who have taken their time, to give you an opinion about what they see in your words...
You are posting on a public forum, and with that, you are inviting that kind of feedback. No person here is an expert, and what we go by, is what we see from you....what you show us.
And while none of us are experts, most of the long time posters are VERY well versed in MLC, and the common signs, and symptoms of MLC. We are ALSO pretty well versed in the LBS, and the path of the LBS. Mostly with the similar traits that led us here in the first place...
So far, what I have seen is only what you have shown to me. And what you have shown, in MY opinion, is..
You present yourself as a know-it-all kind of guy, that has to explain everything to everyone that will listen to you. You present yourself as superior to everyone that has been through what you are getting ready to face. You discount the experience that we have been through, and suggest that your way is better, faster, stronger.
And when you don't like what is being said to you ? You either lash out at them ( like you did with Cat and Wonka), or you ignore them ( which is a passive aggressive behavior).
Did you actually read the posts ??
OR did your anger, over being "attacked", override that ??
I do believe that Cat was talking to Wonka there, and I do believe that she said "usually" in her post. She wasn't talking TO you, or ABOUT you, and you chose to take it personally.....
One of YOUR WIFE'S complaints, was that you treated her like a child, that is what YOU posted. And you have NOT shown anything to contradict that from her.
Matt, I have been posting here for 6 years now, and have been reading here for 7 years. I have seen people come, and people go through this place.
I have read your words, and to be frank ?
I don't need a whole lot of history from you, because I see your past in your current words.
News flash for you buddy...
You are not perfect, nor were you ever perfect. Neither am I, nor anyone that posts to you....
And to say that you did NOTHING to deserve this...is quite an arrogant statement from you. And actually, quite insulting to people who have taken a long look at them self, and been through (experience) the work.
You have ZERO idea how other people see you, and even less idea, how Women see you.
In going against what DB teaches us, you can argue if you wish... Where is the validation that other people see you differently than you see yourself ?
Where is the validation that other people have feelings, thoughts, and their opinion matters ???
Where is the respect for people that have walked this road before you, so that they can provide the advice that you seek ??
For me ?
Arguing on the internet ?
Is a futile waste of time, nothing is gained from it, and I have better things to do with that time...
A little bit about MLC here...
MLCer's do run from their lives, yet people transition these things every day, week, month , year....
Regardless of what you may think, there IS a reason that MLC spouses run from their partner, instead of sticking around and attempting to work through things.
You did not cause her MLC, BUT..you DID contribute to it, and you DID help move it forward to the festering gob that it has turned into....
You DID play a role, and while you find her complaints invalid, or non-existent (?)...
Let me lay this out to you a little clearer...
You posted, that one of her complaints was, that you treated her like a child.....yes ???
When you were a child, did you feel comfortable talking with your parents about your most personal, deepest emotional problems ???
I would assume that you wouldn't, hell, most of us here would admit that. I know that I wasn't with my parents....
So why, would she feel comfortable coming to you, if MLC is based on a person's past childhood issues, and to have you treat her like a child ?
And confide in you those feelings ???
What I asked you was...
Did you treat her the way that you have treated the other posters here ???
Hell, you just told ME what I could and could NOT post to you ???
Sound a little controlling to you ???
Cause it screams control to me....
I dunno Matt,
You tell me where you want to go with things now.
IF you are trying to pizz me off so that I won't post to you anymore (because I do not support that Matt is perfect campaign), you aren't gonna...
And although I cannot speak for them, I highly doubt that you can pizz off Wonka, or Cat either...
I have seen both of them slug it out, with the best...
Maybe we can step back , and take a look at WHY this angered you so much, because as Wonka has said to you before (which you ignored), is that typically, when something that someone says about you , stings that much....there is a reason why...
And typically, the sting things, are the things that you don't like about yourself....
So for now...I am done with all of that ^^^^
If you choose to talk about it, then I will participate in that with you.
If you choose to treat me the way that you responded before, then I will not engage that with you...
