Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

I feel like I am in the twilight zone...... Which I realize is just another word for MLC!

After declaring he wants to finalize divorce etc over the weekend and after some very emotional conversations Sunday and Monday, H has been quite distant. He is very unhappy at work and dealing with a lot there. I have just been " doing my own thing".

He went to IC last night and came home in a weird but positive mood. Our oldest came home from college for the summer and he was really happy about that ( the reality of our son leaving for college last year was very hard for H).
So this morning H walks over to me and says- " my distance the last couple if days is all me, not you". I said ok- I'm not really expecting anything. He said he was expecting things of himself. I said if the plan is for you to move on and live your life and me to do the same than that's what I plan for. He said he still wants to " do right by me". He also said his IC told him how unfair he was being to me with all the back and forth, and that he realized it but hearing it made him think even more.

So then I left for work and cried the whole drive. WTF?! I don't know why I'm such a mess- it's not like I haven't been dealing with this for months. But I am emotional and irritated about it all right now. Yuck! I need to get back to GAL....