I am calming down some now, thank you everyone. I am sorry for ranting, but I have found that if I do it HERE I won't do it to her....and it is crucial that I don't for a host of reasons. So I appreciate everyone letting me explode for a second.
I think one of the things (there a many) that really bites my a$$ is the phrase "I don't think you're seeing that S is affected, as are my parents, as am I". The hell I don't see it. In fact, I saw it so clearly the day she asked for a D I warned her about it. And when has she EVER been interested in how I am affected or how my relationship with S is affected? Was fighting me for more than 50/50 custody time in his best interests? Did you not think about how that would affect ME? Why all of a sudden am I expected to have such a keen focus on S's relationship with HER parents? It's the most selfish, head-in-the-sand, one-sided, self-interested pile of cr@p I have heard.
Finally....FINALLY the bell is starting to ring and the downside to her decision is setting in...the moment I stop caving and working to prove myself and save the marriage/family. And when she feels the sting her answer is to go to court to get what she wants? She already gets two nonconsecutive weeks in the summer to take him wherever she wants...TWO. I have the same but because of work I can barely take advantage of it.
I mean, I wonder if she things I WANTED to lose more than 50% parenting time, or if I WANTED to pay her thousands upon thousands of dollars to her and to attorneys for a D only she wanted. It has been painful, financially damaging and emotionally damaging for me AND my son....but suddenly I am supposed to be attuned to the needs of her family. This. Is. What. Divorce. Is. It s*cks. Nobody wins unless someone is escaping abuse and that was hardly the case in our M. Knowing what I know now, it is something that should really be thought through and talked about by both parties....the impact is deep, far-reaching and permanent. The sad thing is, she referenced not wanting to live a lifetime of our S only seeing her parents for one week a year.....that is the long-term problem she traded our short-term problems in for...and she didn't even know it. I feel like reality is setting in and she hates it.
And for someone that preaches to me about boundaries, I find it odd that she has her mom reach out to me via text to help make her case.
By the way...this has happened before. I didn't want S to go to the pre-school he is currently in (I've learned to deal...it's an OK place). It is 1 mile from her place, if that - and 22 miles from mine. When I refused to OK it, she snapped....had her mom call me...threatened to take me to court over it....and I caved. I think she is running the same play - but it won't work anymore.
