This is the part of the WAS attitude that irks me-- like they want everything to be la-dee-dah we are buddy buddy and not have to accept that there is emotional collateral. That doesn't mean we will be adversarial-- we can be perfectly collaborative and respectful co-parents...but it also doesn't mean we have to go out of our way for them the way we would for others who show us love and friendship and forgiveness and patience. They chose to end that relationship with us!
That doesn't mean you have to say no "just because" or to teach her a lesson. But you can say no if you want without feeling bad about it.
