Would love some guidance on how to handle differences of opinion that arise during mediation. I keep struggling to find this balance between asserting myself and "keeping the way home paved and smooth/being someone only a fool would walk away from"
We just have some essential differences In our approach to a parenting plan (he wants it to be figured out as it comes up/total flexibility; I would like some default In place with the understanding that we will both be flexible when we can...which everyone has told me is pretty standard). The mediator is not really calling him out on that and is sort of taking a back seat. He says, we dont even need a mediator to figure out our vacation schedule-- we can just do it over email.
Maybe that is true, but there has been an imbalance of power in our dynamic in the past. I am stronger now but still worrying a bit about how these things will play out.
I'm probably worrying too much about how he is perceiving me. But aren't I also supposed to be showing him I've changed? Sometimes this is all so confusing!
I stayed really calm-- tried to validate his concern (he seemed worried that a default agreement would mean there was no flexibility. Um, no. It just means that if there is a conflict, there is a default in place.), and I told him I was sorry that some of these things had been issues for us in the past, and that if I had to do it differently, I would. I showed that I was ready to move forward without him. But i think his reaction wouldn't be to have second thoughts, it would be more like, "well fine, she's moved on, so will I". As if he hasn't communicated that to me.
I'm mind reading again. Sigh. I just kept second guessing my reactions and words during that meeting, so unsure of what to say or how.
