Saving my family - Part 12

[Wonka]

Scorp,

Down boy! You sound like Charlie Brown who has revved up really determined to "show" some balls to the Peanut gallery after swallowing up so much advice from all corners that you just plowed right ahead regardless of how it is being "carried" out all by your lonesome self in which the "ego" had the upper hand to your cool-headed Spock.

Am I right? Huh?

Slow down. Get your head screwed on right and look at this from a rational stand-point. Mind you...I am not calling you stupid or even hinting at it at all. What I am saying is that you're letting your emotions get the better of you here.

Sure...your own goal here is 50-50. From what I see here, your approach was going from 10 mph to 120 mph all in 3-days' time. Whoa! Slow down.

Mel, 3BM, Cat and others have chimed in with wise advice to transition the kids on a VERY GRADUAL basis to having more time with you. Listen to them. They know what they're talking about here.

[Scorp7]

hehe, thanks Wonka, can't say I've been compared to Charlie Brown before I kinda feel like some see me as going from this simpering little wuss that is waiting for his W to throw him some table scraps to the ultra evil villain that steals his W's kids away from their ideal loving home to go with him all the while they are crying to be with their mom.

A gradual transition may be ok if my W will agree with doing any sort of transition to a more equal sharing of time with our kids. My kids have done very well when they were with me for a week at a time over the past few months. I would expect the same now.

I sent my W a message tonight saying I realize my last message was a bit harsh and that I was sorry for springing this on her without a lot of notice. I told her I'd like to talk to her about any questions or concerns she had and that I understand that we both are trying to do everything we can for our kids.

[Scorp7]

Well, not surprisingly, I received my W's, or suppose I should say EW's response to my D filing. In it she is agreeing to shared custody which means both parents have a say in the lives of the children. Here's the kicker, she is saying she want to be retain primary care of the children with "reasonable and generous access" being provided to me. In other words, every other weekend with shared holidays.

[Drew]

Did you honestly expect something different? Pretty standard response, actually.

Now please don't jump to the conclusion that you're automatically in for a long drawn out court battle. This is only the second step of MANY ....

Here's how it will probably go:

Your lawyer will respond that her response is unacceptable to you.

A court date will be set.

The judge will order you to mediation.

And THAT'S where hopefully you will come to a reasonable compromise.

Chin up, Scorp.

[Scorp7]

Thanks Drew, that really helped a lot I am feeling so totally overwhelmed right now, it feels like the world is crashing in.

I haven't talked about this much but my mom is in the hospice and doesn't have much time left. She has really taken a big turn for the worse in the past couple of weeks. I am trying to help getting her to appointments at the cancer center to maybe alleviate some of her issues, it's not looking good. I am going to be in my W's province this weekend for mother's day as well. I've spent a lot of time with her the last bit, not as much as I'd like and missing mother's day feels wrong. I have to be there for my kids though, no matter what.

I wish I could talk to my W, even just as a friend right now. I miss her and could use her support now more than ever. It won't happen, at least not any time soon.

[Drew]

Also realize that her response was prepared before you emailed her of your intention to keep the kids all next week.

[Drew]

For what it's worth - I got divorced March 24, 2008. My mom passed May 2, 2008.

Be strong Scorp. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Scorp7]

Thanks Drew, and I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

[Wonka]

Wassup, Scorp?

[ericmsant2]

Scorp?