That ^^^^^^, my friend, is a major, major confession on her part. Don't fast-forward past that one too much.
Crimson
Really appreciate your perspective here; you're right, I've glossed over that a bit and focused more on the revelation from my FIL that she's been talking to him about his "house rules". But the fact that W is realizing this about herself is positive movement regardless of whether or not it affects our sitch. After all, I love her enough to want her to be happy, and I don't think a person can ever be happy until they learn how to own and communicate their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
I actually ended up talking to my IC about the codependency issue. My IC thinks that codependency is best dealt with within the marriage, but she said that plenty of counselors/therapists think otherwise and W may very well be receiving counsel from her therapist that she needs to separate/divorce in order to work on it.
As far as W and I go, we talked openly about her codependency and she said she would like to begin addressing it by "practicing" on/with me... I essentially said to her that I pledged to listen to what she had to say at any given time without judgment; that even if she had something unpleasant to say, I promised to listen to her, to really hear her without turning around and pointing a finger at her or going on the offense. And that if she ever said something that I thought was truly unfair or unjustifiable hurtful, we would discuss it constructively rather than simply arguing about it.
On another positive note (I think), last Wednesday W and I had sort of a date night and ended up having a good time. W accepted another invitation of mine to go out last night and at the end of the evening she told me it was really fun. I said I felt the same way and thanked her for accepting my invitation, and not only did she thank me for inviting her but she also suggested that we go ahead and plan for another night out together next Wednesday. So... seems like a good sign. However, the knowledge that she's been talking to FIL about what it will be like when/if she move in there...well...maybe that's a good thing in a way. Definitely keeps my from fooling myself into thinking all is well...and I guess I shouldn't be expecting any kind of full reversal from her at this stage anyway just because we seem to be establishing this date night thing.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
