I certainly haven't been pondering on this as I only just remembered it a few hours ago. But thought it was interesting she said this.
Anyway, no contact for two days now. It's been tough but I will not call until Friday when I will text about collecting D. I aim to continue on the path of looking and smelling good, being positive, being confident in front of her - in fact I've been like this for about four months now and it feels good.
It's been that long actually since I made my last attempt at begging, pleading etc. Perhaps that's why she asked me last week: "Am I over her now?". I just told her "yep, all is good" and left it at that. This isn't a 2 x 4, but May I suggest you Not respond that way again? Can you see how you just sort of said you have given up. And healed...I know this seems counter intuitive again, b/c we say "do not pursue" and "give her space, don't show your neediness/pain", etc.
But to say it's "Sure its all good" and that you are over her, seems to be a bit much, b/c it's actively deceitful, plus and it really undermines your previous claims. I am not saying you have to pursue her, but seems to me she's probing... so pay more attention, please...Curious about how your fights usually began?
Bash, you know, you're always allowed to tell someone you're not comfortable answering them (and since you like being truthful, refusing to answer a question actually builds you more credibility b/c when you DO state your emotions, you're taking it seriously). Maybe if she says something like "I'm getting better everyday in everyday" and leave it at that in an upbeat way. If she questions you more, or acts as if her choices had little or no impact on your heart, your goal is not to show that she did not matter.
Your goal, no matter what happens ---
is to show that she mattered a LOT to you, you changed when she left, and now you are moving forward in your life Better for the experience, (as in better equipped to be a loving h and friend, to someone...
We're into month 6 since she told me of wanting to split. I have good and bad days. Hopefully the changes that I have made and are continuing to make will work. But I know one thing. I will not mention our R unless she brings it up - and hopefully when she does it is in some way positive.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
