M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
letter of last resort? do I write something to h or just leave it at this point. we are negotiating financials. I have an app with my L on Monday. will be out of town for the weekend at s17 race.h usually goes to these races too. don't know his plans for this one. he may skip...he has avoided me since start back up of d talk last Saturday. has not seen kids either.
Dear h, I know d is what you want and that you want to "move forward" I would like to say I am sorry for my part in this. I am sorry for being smart aleck about your job. I know it is an important part of who you are and it was disrespectful on my part. Truly, I am sorry. I am sorry for being a big mouth sometimes and acting like a know it all. I am sorry that you did not feel comfortable in our home and if I in any way caused that. I am sorry for not attending to or recognizing your needs. Although, I thought our sex life was pretty good, I am sorry for the times that I shunned you.
I want your forgiveness. I think you will forgive me. Perhaps this is leading me to who I am supposed to be. I hope the same for you.
wbw
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I would leave well enough alone for now. Don't send him the note because he will look at it as manipulation and/or not read but the first line or two. You'll get the opportunity to tell him how you feel at a later time.
Keep the focus on you and your children. You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him. His problems are his to own and no matter how many times you apologize, it will go in one ear and out the other right now. He's not ready to really focus on and hear what you are saying.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
ok, thanks job.... raining hard here. got a couple of text msg from h about s17 driving....I'm just being my usual self... h had text this AM asking about D16. we are polite to one another. answer questions, say thank you. fixing dinner. have hw tonight and school tomorrow. when we are at these races together for s17, we are kind, cordial. d16 goes back and forth visiting amongst us. s20 is going to stay in town and work
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
When I told the kids about the dissolution and the attorney, they both responded, "Oh, we thought you were already divorced."
Completely anti-climatic. I think kids sometimes have a better grasp of the situation than we do. Your kids know that their dad is not being a husband right now. They know it's unlikely you will get back together.
As for the letter, I don't see it giving you the response/reaction you are looking for right now. Detach Will. I know how hard this is. I do.
What about the ol' rubberband trick. Snap it when you think of H. Maybe it's time to push him outta your thoughts some. Seems like he is still front and center.
You CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If I can, you can too. :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
The kids knew the dissolution wasn't finalized, but they said they already saw us as divorced and the paper wasn't going to make much of a difference to them.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
geez, I know thanks guys. I do see for s20 the divorce being a marker in his life.... Before my parents got d'ed...after my parents got d'ed.
I have had anger about h's behavior. I have empathy for him too. I was watching a show with s 20 last night. Other 2 in bed....anyway, its just pure sweetness, these kids and work as well. s 20 's car wouldn't start yesterday...ugh. got to get that taken care of.
class today. its winding down though
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I do see for s20 the divorce being a marker in his life.... Before my parents got d'ed...after my parents got d'ed.
I was thinking about my own parents' divorce. I have vague memories of the day it was final. BUT, I have crystal clear-as-a-bell memories of the day my mom sat me down on the yellow silk sofa and told me that my dad was having an affair with his secretary. Very vivid. I can see the pretty blue flowers on the coach as I write this and I remember where I was sitting.
That, for me, was the day my parents divorced because that was the day I knew it was over. Dad wasn't living with us anymore.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
