M, forgive me as I havent yet read through all your posts. You have some pretty amazing people posting to you here.
Just a few things, if I may. You said you have been dealing with your wife's MLC for years. So, Im thinking that you should be at the point where the things she says and does shouldnt really be surprising and upsetting you still so much.
That's not to say that they arent upsetting, just that you are still so affected by them.
The thing about that is that it doesnt serve you well, right? You are kind of just spinning your wheels.
So, what can you do to stop doing that? Detach.
To me that means not allowing her words or actions to affect yours. It means that you are going to be your best self regardless of what she is saying or doing.
Now I understand that you feel you were a great h. I dont know you. Maybe you were. I thought I was a pretty darn good wife and person. Was I my best self, though? No, I wasnt.
The thing about this journey is that you are being given an amazing opportunity here. One you might not have ever gotten. It is one in which you get to look inside and see what needs fixing. And we all need some of that. So dont give it away. It is too important.
You are still very wrapped up in your wife and what she is saying, what you think she is thinking and being really angry.
The sooner you let that all go, the sooner you get to the good parts. Yea, there are many. Trust me on that.
The way I started was looking at people I admired and why. I looked really deep inside at my issues. We all have them. I started digging into why I was who I was and how I wanted to be different.
This stuff isnt for the faint of heart. But man, it could change your life.
Let her go for now, Matt. She is on her own journey. Honor your marriage and your wife by allowing her to walk it.
)