Don't message your wife right now Scorp. Leave the ball in her court. When she responds, and she will, listen and validate. I understand why you've done what you've done. Others here did tell you to stand up for yourself and even told you to act without regard to your wife. I agree with Eric that you come off as a bully so you need to find that happy medium.
I also very strongly support the ladies who have commented on your thread. I understand that you are thinking about your kids and that is admirable. You need to put yourself in your kids shoes though. They may say they love you, they may say they miss you and they do. How do you think they will feel after 5-6 days without Mum when they haven't spent that long without her in nearly eight months? Forget about what roles your wife/MIL/FIL have in your kids lives and understand that it's her presence that comforts them.
Work towards 50/50. Don't just come in with all guns blazing saying "right lady, this is how it's going to be". There will be times that you need to say that. If she shoots down 50/50 ever, then yes, "this is how it's going to be (eventually)". If she shoots down 50/50 now, your response is "how can we get there?"
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014