Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

Her business is the retirement home for seniors. There are 14 rooms but we have some vacancy right now
that's why my business is subsidizing hers because she hasn't the revenue to meet expenses. She lives in one of the rooms with an ensuite bathroom - a room I built brand new last summer while she was out having fun with the ON. She can entertain her family there.
We had agreed on the steak BBQ at my place last night so I was expecting her, but not so early.
She did barge in on me a couple of times in the past week. I think she's hoping to catch me with my pants down or something. She has a rule that I have to let her know when I'm coming to her business. But I haven't reciprocated with a similar rule for my house - although technically it's still our house. But then again I helped pay for her business, so technically it's also our business. But yes, she still has a lot of clothes in my house and has been running back and forth with the change of seasons. She has said she wants to get her own apartment away from the business to have some peace and privacy. I'm not advocating that. I suggested we could swap accommodations, her at our house, me at the retirement business. But after thinking about it, why should I put myself Out of my own house.
Today we went with her mum to the immigration folks and mum's being deported in 30 days. So we said we'll be spending the weekends with mum, doing day trips and such to spend as much time with her in her last month in Canada. W & I were both very civil to each other and had a good day. She is still cold though and rewriting our history constantly. I try to ignore that stuff.
Detach. Detach.
I still have to say to her, "My door is open now, but I won't wait forever" and just leave it at that.

I did make one rule at the very outset, and that was the OM was not allowed on the retirement home (RH) property or I would have him arrested for trespassing. As far as I know they have complied with that rule. She meets him in town or elsewhere. But she still demands that I let her know when I'm coming to the RH. I'll he out of town at a convention for the next 3 days and W said she may come and stay at the house to get away from the RH business - where she rarely gets a break. I said Ok, but my computer will be locked and Ill be taking all my Ft stuff, books, journals, etc. with me locked in my car so if she snoops she won't find anything. It'll give her a taste of what it would be like living back here - food for thought for her.