Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

Then on 5/6/14 Sandi2 replied:
Sounds like you did a realty good job. Next hard job is stopping the cake eating. It's hard b/c sometimes it seems a fine line between looking like a jerk and standing firm. It will also be difficult b/c of your relationship with her mother and daughter. Michele says to choose your battles wisely. I believe the same advice can be applied to cake eating.
She seems to think nothing of it when she barges into your house and just does whatever she wants. However, would she give you the same liberties at her place? Maybe she would.......but if she's in an A, I doubt she wants you busting through unannounced whenever you want. She should give you the same consideration. She is not living there with you, nor is she working toward a reconciliation.......so why does she act as though its still her place? B/c she has gotten away with it.......b/c you thought that was what you were suppose to do. But that is just me, and you may want her intruding and announcing her family is coming and what you will have for dinner, etc. and EXPECTING you to comply just like when you were together with her.
So I suggest you take a few days to think about some ground rules while separated. They are not for you to control her life or even force her to stop the A. It is so both of you know what to expect. She needs to respect your privacy and not barge into your house without knocking. She should at least give as much respect about inviting herself and family over for dinner.. .as she would any other person. It is rude and presumptuous to come in and start telling you the plans for your day/evening, Of course, you may want to be careful not to specify her mother and daughter, b/c she will get angry and may tell them you don't want them coming anymore. I'm just using the recent events as an example.
The WAW in an A does not like boundaries...........of any type. But when it comes to your home, business, or other property, she has to respect it. And, you want her to show respect to you. You may keep that in mind as you are thinking about this. And.. .... since some guys need a little tweaking, you might want to post those BEFORE giving them to her. And before you tell her anything, you could mention to her (at a good time) that you have been thinking it might be better if both of you have some ground rules. If she asks "like what?". Tell her you are still thinking.
She is going to wonder what's going on with you, when she starts seeing you change from your original plan to a better one. B/c it is better for you.....and she won't like it. Bear in mind this is to be expected. She's been eating a l00000t of cake and won't be happy if you take it away.
Again, weigh it carefully. Make your choices wisely. Post it here first.
Oh, I just remembered you said she had been staying at the retirement center. So, does she have a little apartment there, or does she run back and forth to get clothes from your house? Is the only way to have her morn and daughter for dinner is doing it at your house? Hummm, this could put a little pressure on her to find a place where she can have her family over. Like I said........take you time to think it over. This is for you and what you want.......not anybody else.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!