I presented W with a separation agreement last night. So I have "dropped the rope". I have reached a point in this journey where I know I will be just fine however things work out. Fear no longer dictates anything to me (I hope). I know that I will always be dad to my 2 boys and nothing that transpires between myself and my wife can change that.
I fought for my marriage. I fought for her sanity. I fought for my kids safety and security. The last thing in the order of priorities was to fight for myself. Its time now.
I have financially secured the house, insurance, taxes, utilities, etc. so that my sons will be safe and have a roof over their heads. One day, I hope that they can understand how much I love them.
I have struggled through the hardest year of my life. I have learned so many things about relationships, people, the world, and most importantly, myself. I will continue to learn and grow as a person. I will grow spiritually and emotionally for the rest of my life. Our time here is a constant journey and one should never become complacent. I firmly believe that opportunities are presented to us in this life for all the right reasons. I have met some very special people along the way. Some have reached out to me, given me advice and raised me up from some very dark places.
I have met some special people that have also restored my faith in myself. I am a good man. I am a good father. I did the best I could as a son, a husband, and a man at each given moment in my life. Every moment in your life doesn't define you. What defines you is how you react and how you use each experience.
I have a long walk ahead of me. I will try to walk it with my head held high and with a confidence that I am getting better every day.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
