Thanks for the update NLT, I'm so glad to read this:
Originally Posted By: Notlikingthis
In the meantime I'm doing quite well and planning a few trips for the summer months. I'm working nearly every day on my gardens and enjoying the peace and quiet of not living the drama of a mlcer.
Good for you!
There's no question that H is making some really poor financial decisions right now. You are right to do what you need to do to protect yourself. Keep us posted!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
The ow is not working but is suppose to hear back from a potential employer "any day now".
He mumbled something this past weekend about "diminishing returns" when he talked about ow's lack of employment.
He voiced concerned about finances and is thinking of selling the house that he lives in and renting something for awhile.
He leased a new car 2 weeks ago (just prior to deciding that he wasn't going to be working much longer).
Those are just a few of the many things that have happened and I'm certain that if he loses his job or voluntarily leaves he will make even more poor choices and decisions..
NLT,
These are just a FEW THINGS??? Yikes.
I'm with ya sister. It's funny when they actually get what they "think" they want.
I don't want a divorce either. I've been at this since two years ago February. I'm moving forward with the dissolution though. I get to see the final draft tomorrow morning.
I see some serious financial red flags on what you posted. If I were you, I'd really re-think moving forward with a separation or dissolution to protect yourself financially.
Right now, it sounds like your H is protecting himself and OW first and foremost. You need to protect yourself.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
What happens to YOU if he loses his job? Is there something in place which will FORCE him to continue support??
When my H was confronted by the child support enforcement agency about his lack of support given to his CHILDREN...ya know what he called and cried about to me????
Smokey: "I won't be able to pay my rent."
This is AFTER the kids and I were almost out on the streets when the house nearly foreclosed in September. Just an example of the MLC selfishness.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Ah yes. Heather, your comment caught my eye. I asked my h when he would be making his deposit for support this month and he said. " I don't know if I have money for that. I have to pay my bills first."
But of course he wanted to claim the 3 kids on his taxes. Nope.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Bea, Thanks for stopping by. Over the past week my attorney and I have been working on a list of items that must appear in the document, otherwise it won't be agreed to. He assured me that this agreement will be enforceable if we were to Legally Separate or D in the future.
You are exactly right about the ow not working and expecting a high standard of living. The language that my attorney has proposed is specifically designed to keep her (and anyone else)from getting her/their gold digging hands on any of it.
I took a peek at your latest thread last week and saw that your xh is still at it! It's amazing to me that he can't or won't let go of you. After all of these years one would think that he would be enjoying the life that he chose over his family. My h is so deep in the fog that he is having trouble understanding the simple concept of a legal separation. Yours appears to have gotten past the fog and trying to rewrite your D eight years later. I'm convinced that your xh will never go away completely even if ordered to do so by the courts!
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
FY, It's always nice to hear from you! My h does question some of the decisions that he's made over the past year. He continues to ask me for help and my opinion but I have backed off (unless I see potential financial disaster) and as hard as it is to watch him struggle with the simplest decisions, I know that he has to figure it out all by himself.
Your w seems to be moving along nicely. Patience and more patience FY. You are the prize at the end of her journey and I think she knows that otherwise she wouldn't still be there.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
Heather, I just posted a short novel to you and lost the whole thing! Darn computers.
Thanks for the update on your situation! Your h will figure this out just as mine will one way or another. Unfortunately it will be in their own time. Their selfishness is above and beyond what I can begin to understand with regard to the children.
I have full access to all of our accounts and am still watching closely for any large amounts of money going out. So far, he has kept things under control with finances. The car that he leased was not a wise decision but instead of using "our" money to make the down payment he used the ow's van. He still has to make the payments each month but he has the resources to do so while he is working and says that he can and will break the lease if he needs to. I'm sure he'll take a loss on the ow's car but I'm not sure what else it will involve. The lease doesn't have her name on it either.
If he loses his job I will be just fine. I have several monthly checks coming in that cover all of my living expenses and more. My goal is to preserve our assets by keeping the ow away from everything so that our children won't lose what belongs to them not a gold digging, manipulating B.
Keep taking care of yourself and your kids, Heather. I will get over to your thread and see what's going on with you too.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
GB, Thanks for stopping by. I've been away from here for a few months so haven't had a chance to read your story.
I can't believe, yet I'm not surprised that your h would think of himself before the kids. Yeah, they want what benefits them first and then we get the leftovers, if there are any. Good for you not letting him claim the kids his taxes.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
It does sound like you've done a great job in the financial department. Good for you for taking care of you.
You seem to be in a good place:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
