So, yesterday, I thought about checking in here again. I didn't though. I realized I needed to do something, anything other than identify and expound on the problem. I need to come back today with what I DID to confront it.
I took action on the groceries. Took care of the grocery shopping after my student left. I bought myself some healthy foods that I normally wouldn't purchase. I purchased them for ME.
Came home and asked D11 to clean the kitchen while I took a bath. I also meditated (and fell asleep) for a bit after the bath.
After, my daughter's bestie came over. She had had an MRI after a concussion and they've discovered two lesions on her brain. She is heading to the Cleveland Clinic today to talk to a neurologist. She doesn't have parents she can count on and she sometimes counts on me for the mothering/nurturing when she needs it. I had purchased two big coloring books at the store and some brand new crayons (on sale after Easter). We sat around and laughed. I put all the ToDo's away for an evening and laughed.
When she went home, I read my book on Tapping and found, to my surprise, it seems like just the thing the doc ordered--so to speak. Basically, for those who don't know, it's acupressure.
D11 and I watched Rear Window after our friend left. We colored, read and watched the movie. It was a nice evening.
Tapping: I know I was joking before about it "changing my life." The kids and I have this running joke where, when we see something on a commercial or whatever, we say, "My Gawd, we need that, it will change our lives." Actually, it's mostly me and they roll their eyes.
Anyway, reading this book last night made me laugh, because it genuinely seemed like just the thing I've been looking for to deal with this anxiety, procrastination, depression, fear, grief, etc...
The idea is that your body develops sense memories as a child. And, as you grow older, other things will trigger those sense memories and, if the memory is powerful enough, will stop you in your tracks when your brain reacts in fight or flight mode.
IDK. I'm going to keep reading.
Still woke up with the cloud of fear hanging over me. But, I'm taking this one day on its own terms. Just one day. I will do what I can in this one day to move forward.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
