W met OM yesterday. She put the "DNA evidence" in a hiding place in the closet last night. I just discovered it and secured it. Legally it can't be used to establish grounds for D with cause, but I can get it tested to determine that it is what it is, and it isn't mine, but it won't come to that.
I can say nothing and let her discover that it is missing, which she may have already, and let her deal with it. That will be the night that she tosses and turns BIG TIME.
OR...
before I discovered this, I was thinking of giving (and reading) her this:
Quote:
I understand that you are angry, and I accept my part in our situation. We both repressed things and didn't communicate which led to resentment.
There are no easy decisions at this point: we're at a fork in the road.
Reconciliation path - no going back to what was, that didn't work for us - we can put everything on the table and try to find a better way forward - no guaranteed outcome, but a chance if we really do the work - there are very good programs to help us - worst case - we try for a year and make no progress.
Other path - our issues don't get resolved and everyone suffers - we'll never know if we could have made this better - our legacy will be that we quit without trying everything we could.
Right now, this is the path we are on.
I love you far too much to settle for only part of you. I need all or nothing. You won't give me all of you, so I'm letting go.
You can't have both of us. If you want to change the path we're on, end A then we can move forward. However, I can't wait forever.
This evidence should put a quick halt to any denial of A that happens during that last paragraph.
My live in WAW has taken cake eating to a new level. I think this has been harder than an actual walk out, because at least they have to deal with separation. My W has felt no loss at all.
And yes, I do have a time frame in mind for what I said. If, in the face of evidence, she can't come around by then, then why on earth would I still be here?
Please tell me what I'm not thinking of here, or if there is a way better approach.
